The reason I started this blog Life on the Waiting List was because I wanted to share with others the day to day of living with kidney failure while waiting on a transplant list. I wanted it to be a positive blog. I wanted to help others waiting as well. Of course things did not turn out as planned .
I have thought about changing the name of the blog or just forgetting it all together. But I won't and I can't for two very important reasons . One being that Ryan suggested the name Life on the Waiting List . And Two I can hear him in my ear,'Tell them Mom,tell them what I went through...don't give up Mom'. I can still hear the way he said MOM! in the same urgent tone he always used for trying to convince me of something. Besides the name still fits. I am waiting still,not for the original reason but a much bigger reason. I am waiting to be reunited with Ryan again. So the name will remain . Isn't life just one big waiting list anyway? This story has not ended. There is more to say and I will keep writing . There is no closure with the death of a child. There never will be. I am still a mom and Ryan is still my child.
