Saturday, October 6, 2012
I am not on dialysis even though most people at my stage of kidney failure are. I am prepared though to be hooked up to the machine at a moments notice. My av fistula is working fine and ready to be used. I am actually on standby status so to speak with my doctor. Which means no appointment necessary when I feel too sick. My doctor thinks dialysis may shorten my survival rate and we are hoping I can get my transplant before I have to be dialyszed. The motto is a little kidney function is better than none and once dialysis starts I will lose what little I have left. It makes since to me. But I can't help but wonder if I am making the right choice. I am not afraid of the machine and honestly sometimes I feel like okay lets do this...I have had enough. I know that B blood types wait the longest for a kidney and that would mean a longer time on dialysis.Lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night choking on fluid that shifts from my ankles to my throat. Last night was the worse and ended up sleeping in a chair. When you are first told that your kidneys are failing and you will soon need dialysis so many things run through your mind. It takes a while to wrap your head around it and to prepare emotionally. I feel I have had plenty of time to do just that. I have always been pretty tough,it's gonna be a piece of cake I just know it!