As of today I still have not heard from Vanderbilt about the test results for the kidney swap. I am aware these things take time and have decided to relax and try to be patient. I know it will happen when the time is right and I can't fret and worry about it. The last thing I want to do is be negative. I feel that if  I am too negative about things I might drive people away and that is a huge fear of mine. It helps to write things down and that is another reason why I started this blog. When people ask me how I'm  feeling...I don't know what to say.  Should I say I feel okay...or should I tell them the truth and say I feel sick and tired? And admit I feel fearful at times that I will not get through this. My uncle...before he passed away had a very good answer for when people would ask him how he was feeling...he would say with a big smile on his face... "with my fingers,that's how I'm feeling"! I loved his attitude!

I have decided to go ahead and start dialysis if my GFR  goes below 9 or 10. I remember being as low as 8 this past summer and I don't want to go through that again. Right now  my GFR is about 12. I am experiencing a lot of muscle cramps and tremors. The tremors are really worrisome because it could mean complete kidney failure. For this reason I think it is time to talk about stating dialysis. I just want to feel better!!!  On the bright side my anti-nausea medicine is working....now that I realize you are supposed to let the pill melt on your tongue instead of swallowing it! Next doctor's appointment and blood draw is on the 20th....my nephrologist said she would try  to get me through the summer without dialysis and we did it. I just wish I could avoid it altogether..