Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Keep trying...never give up
After my doctors appointment and my latest lab results I have stepped up my efforts in finding a donor. My kidney function is now at 11%. I am doing everything I can to delay or avoid dialysis .
The life expectancy of a dialysis patient is 3 to 5 years. I have been on the waiting list for 3 years but my wait could be as long 5 years and I know people who have waited even longer. So I figure I have a better chance of survival the longer I can avoid dialysis. I am having anxiety attacks over this! I am wondering if there is going to be time to accomplish everything I want to do? I am not the same person I was before all this and am having a hard time making small talk with extended family members. I love them dearly but I don't want to hear how busy they are or the vacations they are taking.Well meaning family have asked "why don't you just go on dialysis"?Or my favorite one is when they say "I just don't understand why it is taking so long to find a kidney"! If they took the time to truly listen and understand that I am just one of 100,000 people waiting. No matter how many times I try to explain they just don't get it. I want to tell them...don't you understand how hard this is on my children...my husband. For the first time... yesterday I saw fear in my husbands eyes when he looked at me.Our life is wrapped up in my illness and finding someone to save my life! I just want to spend every moment I can with my husband,kids and grandkids. That is what is most important to me.That and finding a donor.