I keep telling myself  I am so close I can't give up now. I've had to give myself a lot of pep talks this past week. Last Tuesday night I ended up in the er again when I became ill...dizzy,uncontrollable chills and I almost passed out. Long story short...it is very easy to quickly become dehydrated when you have CKD. I haven't been able to eat very much because of  nausea that just won't quit. The doctors increased my nausea meds. but it only works for a short time and then it's back. We thought at first it was just a stomach virus but that doesn't seem to be the case. I have never cared for eggs very much but now an egg and dry toast is just about all I can handle without becoming ill. Sleep is a welcome escape and I am doing a lot of that. A nurse who trained in a dialysis unit told me that kidney patients are some of the strongest and most stubborn people ever. Well, I'm not feeling very strong right now...but I promise you this...I will not give up.Because things are moving along rather quickly now with a possible transplant by summer maybe June! I am still guarded by fear of disappointment. But I have to hold on to something right? I get so afraid sometimes and have decided to bite the bullet and ask my doctor for a little something to calm my nerves. I think I deserve at least to have peace of mind. Things change so quickly with this disease...hour to hour ...moment to moment. I never know what to expect when I wake up in the morning or how my day is going to end up. But I guess that could be said for anyone. That is life.