I am having intense bone pain tonight in my left arm where my AV Fistula is. The pain is so bad that I had a panic attack earlier this evening. I woke up and went to the kitchen and was met by my son who had heard me cry out in my pain. He put his arms around me and gave me a hug." Hold on just a while longer mom" he said "and all this will be over soon". My son has never seen me well in all of his 19 years. I am looking forward to this so much,just got to hang on.. I hate the way this illness has affected him,my son worries about me and I know he is going to need all the emotional support he can get while I am in surgery. He wants to know everything that is going to happen. From how long the surgery will take,what the recovery time is and what are the chances of me not making it through. He is too young for these worries. He told me he had a dream that we were at the beach and that I was healthy. I know better days are around the corner and my kids will finally have a new mom!
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